“I’m worried the team won’t like my suggestions.” “I’m worried I didn’t give my boss enough time between flights.” “I’m worried they’ll eliminate my position.” Everybody worries sometimes, but too much worrying becomes a mental bad habit that costs time, money and personal sanity. What to do instead? Make worry WORK for you.
It’s become a reality-show catchphrase: “I’m not here to make friends.” The implication is that to win, you can’t afford to treat people generously. Will you go further by being cutthroat or collaborative? Let’s look at the data:

Dare not to compare

June 3, 2010 Categorized in: Self-AssessmentTactfully Speaking

I feel passionate about how much time we waste comparing ourselves to others. We make assumptions about their lives, rather than recognize that they, too, struggle with their own limiting beliefs, challenges and self-doubts. If we compare ourselves only to the superachievers, we’re always going to walk away thinking we’re not good enough. We need to acknowledge that we are doing our best daily and give ourselves credit for all our efforts.
The future you want is attainable, but you’ll need a positive vision to reach it. That’s according to personal finance expert Marianna Olszewski, who has a new book called Live It, Love It, Earn It. In addition to the advice about managing finances, she offers these fun suggestions for charting your future:
It’s 4:30 p.m., and one of your bosses has finally given you the documents you expected to receive that morning—the documents you need in order to wrap up a task by the 5:30 p.m. deadline. This is your biggest pet peeve—receiving things late (and without warning), but being expected to complete the task on time. What to do?
What’s the best way to solve a problem at work? Figure out exactly what’s wrong and fix it. Right? Not according to Marcus Buckingham. The author of Find Your Strongest Life says that’s an example of “Deficit Attention Disorder.” He says thinking in terms of the problem only amplifies negative feelings. He recommends this more positive, productive approach:
Are any of you like I used to be? Always available to listen, motivate, brainstorm and basically provide your friends, family and colleagues with whatever they needed to play an outstanding game while you watched from the sidelines? After years of watching everyone take my advice, execute the perfect play and score, I was left with two distinct thoughts. One, it stinks being on the bench, and two, if they can do it, so can I. And so can you!
You’re promoted to a more demanding, high-profile job, and the first thing you think is, “They must have made a mistake.” That’s your Inner Critic, whose prompts can get you out of bed in the morning, on the treadmill or through a pressing deadline. But its disapproving words can also make you miserable. Here’s how to quiet your Inner Critic:
Tina Turner may belt out, “What’s love got to do with it?” but my own rendition is “What’s age got to do with it?” Too often, I come across individuals who say they’d like to apply for such and such position but their age is a hindrance … Your age can work in your favor if you let it. Decide to go for it no matter how many times you’ve circled the sun.
We certainly don’t want to be the subject of gossip, and we know gossip isn’t kind, so why does it occur? Because people need their gossip fix. We’re preprogrammed for it: It comes standard in all human beings. But does that make gossiping OK?
Some people “make their own luck.” These are the fearless souls who create opportunities—or maybe they simply notice opportunities others don’t. They expect the best and are resilient enough to flip bad luck into something good. Jan Fraser, author of Ordinary Women … Extraordinary Success, suggests four ways you can make your own luck:
Nearly half of U.S. workers say they’re afraid and stressed about their ability to provide for their families’ basic needs. So it’s no surprise that workplace fatigue, depression, headaches and other stress-driven symptoms are on the rise. Here are four techniques for turning fear into courage, according to psychiatrist and author Judith Orloff.
“My boss is driving me crazy. What can I do about it?” … “My co-worker got a promotion, even though I do a better job.” The starting point for almost any question about your career, says career columnist Penelope Trunk, is: Know yourself better.